The Pimmi Edit

I didn’t expect to see her there, but I’m glad I did.

Throughout my life, I’ve always found female friendships a little difficult to maintain. I don’t really hang out with many people outside of my husband, my family, and a few friends here and there. And I’ve thought about it a lot… maybe I’ve just had bad luck with the friendships I’ve been given, or maybe it’s me trying to hold onto something I really wanted, even when it didn’t quite work.

[Feature Image Credit: Pexels Photo by Marina Abrosimova]

I’m also the type of person who cuts people off quite easily once my boundaries feel pushed. Quietly, but very decisively. And this situation was one of them.

I met her during university, and from the start I always wanted to be friends with her. I was happy we ended up in the same circle. It felt easy back then. But as time went by and we all graduated, things shifted. You know how friendships from school or university tend to fade. People move away, grow into different versions of themselves, and just live completely different lives. 

But this friendship was different. We were still in touch, still cordial, until eventually it ended on bad terms.

It was one of those friendships where I had already let go emotionally long before it actually ended. Almost like how some women stay in relationships, holding everything in until they reach their breaking point. I tried, at least in my own way. But over time, little things would come up, and I’m not really the type to speak out immediately. I tend to sit with things, let them build quietly, and then one day I disappear. Until I’m confronted, and that’s when everything comes out at once.

So that’s what happened. And it ended badly.

A few months later, I still found myself thinking about her from time to time. Wondering if I had been too harsh, if I could have handled things differently. But I’m also someone who stands by my decisions. In my head, it was a friendship I genuinely tried in.

Then almost two years later, I bumped into her. A brand had invited me to an event, and while I was sitting in the car waiting, I saw a gorgeous woman hop off her bike. I did a double take. Could it really be her? It was.

Suddenly there was this wave of anxiety and thoughts of how this was going to go. Is it going to be awkward? Bad? Good?

I was given an outfit to change into, and as I was waiting for the toilet, she walked out. We were both clearly shocked, but we still said hi.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said.

“Me too.”

We were the first ones there, so we ended up sitting next to each other. She started the conversation, and I felt this instant sense of relief. I had prepared myself for awkward silence, but it wasn’t like that at all.

Then she apologized to me again.

Still a bit in shock, I told her it was okay. And it really was.

Somehow, at that moment, everything just felt fine again.

I apologized back too, because I knew I hadn’t handled things perfectly either. It was a different kind of situation back then. It was fire on fire. Two people reacting, not really understanding how to handle what they were feeling.

But this time, it felt different.

It was just two grown women sitting next to each other, both trying to build something for themselves, looking back at what happened and realizing it was just a moment in our lives. A version of us that needed time apart to grow. Right then and there, I knew the people we were back then aren’t who we are now.

Girlhood vs Womanhood

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since that night.

There’s something about female friendships in girlhood that feels more intense. Everything is louder, emotions feel bigger, and expectations sit there unspoken but heavy. You feel everything so deeply, but you don’t always know how to say it.

Back then, I didn’t really know how to communicate. I would feel, notice, get hurt by things, but instead of saying how I felt, I let it build. And eventually, they would stack up until it quietly turned into distance. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. If anything, I cared too much, just not in the right way.

Looking back, it reminds me of how some women stay in relationships, holding everything in until they reach a breaking point. That was me, just in friendships.

But sitting next to her that day felt different. It wasn’t about who was right or wrong anymore. It wasn’t about replaying the past or trying to prove anything. It was just two grown women, at 26, sitting next to each other, able to acknowledge what happened without letting it define us.

We spoke. We apologized. And for the first time, it didn’t feel heavy. Maybe that’s the difference between girlhood and womanhood. In girlhood, everything feels final. In womanhood, you realize not everything has to be.

Pimmi’s Perspective

I used to think that once something ends badly, it should stay that way. That walking away meant closing the door completely, no turning back. 

But life doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes people come back into your life, not to be who they once were, but to show you how much both of you have changed. Seeing her again made me realize that timing plays a bigger role than we think. Who we were back then did the best we could with what we knew. And who we are now knows better.

Not everything needs to be fixed. And not every friendship needs to go back to what it was. But sometimes you get a second moment. Not to rewrite the past, but to meet again, differently.